Finally A Blonde Male Joke

A blonde guy gets home EARLY from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"WHAT’S UP?" he says.
"I’m having a heart attack" cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone…but just as he’s dialing, his 4 year old son comes and says ‘DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED’S HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET AND HE’S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom…past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door…….sure enough….there’s his brother "totally naked" cowering on the closet floor………..
"You rotten S.O.B.," says the husband, "My wife’s having a Heart attack and you’re running around NAKED SCARING THE KIDS !!
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Women In Space

Women in Space

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.

First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you
want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered,
"I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting
with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life
on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you."
And told her that they would get back to her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked
her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go
to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get  back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the
same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought
for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don’t you
know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Boy,
are you guys dumb. I’d go at night!"

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First Letter

Body: According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity … What do you think? Is It You? Don’t get mad at me I didn’t write this.  If you get offended don’t blame me

You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can’t be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure,and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, its action that counts not obscure hints.Your mate’s physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

You are a freaking beast. You are the sexmaster. You do what you want, when you want…and it comes as no surprise because everyone always wants it from you. You are definately the best ever. Others should stop now to save the embarrassment.

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement,sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open mind.

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for
a bed mate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don’t have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic life scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

You are crap in bed!(Remember….I didn’t write this!!!! LOLOL)

You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.

You have a great need to be loved and appreciated… Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing.You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression.You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

You are totally fu*king marvelous!

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love.Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners provided it’s all in good taste.Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving,cuddling, wining,and dining to know that you’re being appreciated.

You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover’s savior. You are sincere,passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can’t help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life,nor of your sexual fantasies.

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, y ou throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy mothering your mate.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a
time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are a flirt yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy,extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

You are very interested in sexual ac tivities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn’t think of doing anything that might harm your image or
reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent
partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of
other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers,and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However,physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy,but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher.Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to
this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you
are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade,can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.

You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and
romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easi ly. When in love, you
are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated,
titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, often times all in your
own hea d.

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for
someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner’s pleasures above your own.

You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out.You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on,even though you yourself may not be a participant.

You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease.You can’t shut off your mind. You talk while you make love.You can have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your own head.

You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can’t have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn’t always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy n ecking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring.However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open,stimulating and romantic

Sorry, there was no "Z" in this transmission. Catching "Z’s" no doubt

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New Album

I have created a new photo album in memory of pets that we have loved and lost.  Sorry about the pic of the dog, I was just getting use to using a camera when I took it.  His name was Cloud, we lost him back in 2002.  He was losing his hearing, so his other senses were heightened.  People started to complain that he was making noise.  Cloud was a samoyed husky, he was given to us as a gift.  He was miserable to everyone when we first got him.  Which the reason was that he was abused, not by his owner, but a couple that his owner had given him to first.  But we won him over.  The picture of the cat is Pepper, he was an easter gift to my sister when she was young.  We lost Pepper to something that had to do with his bowels, I don’t remember what it was.  I blame the vet for his death, because the vet put Pepper on these pills that were helping Pepper, well when the pills ran out Pepper started to become sick again.  My dad and sister raced him to thevet, but it was too late. Pepper took one last breath and died in my dad’s arms.  The vet said to them after, why didn’t you come and get more pills or did I forget to tell you that he needed to take those pills for the rest of his life.  When I heard that I said to my dad and yeah he did.  Man was I pissed.  I wanted to go up to the vet’s office and tell him what I thought of him.  The vet’s office was just up the street from our house.  But I figured what is the point, it won’t bring Pepper back.  But before Pepper died, he became the father of 4 beautiful kittens.  We still have one of them and she is now 13 years old, and still on the go.
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Live Life

This is to all my friend and family.  Live your life to the fullest.  Cherish everyone and everything you have in your life, cause you never know some day everything you loved or cared about maybe gone.  Learn from your mistakes, but never regret them.  Cause think about it.  Look at your life since you made those decsions. Some maybe be good, and some maybe bad, but learn.  Cherish your loved ones.  I have learned to do that, ever since my mom ended up in the hospital on June 21st.  The good news is she is done alot better.  She found that she had an inner ear infection and it really took way her strength.  She is still unsteady, so we tease her about drinking, she takes it in good fun.  She had to be in a wheelchair for a while and I was pushing her around. She is glad to be out of the wheelchair now.  She walked out to the mall today and back again.  Some ppl thought that she had suffered a stroke even the ambulance drivers.  they had to carry her out to a stretcher that was waiting outside for her.  Then the loaded her in to the ambulance around 11am and left.  She came home Thursday.

If you have any special thoughts for her I will be more then happy to pass them on to her.  Just leave them here.  Thanks again.

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